Today L and i went to go shoot pool and we got worse than the last time we played! ahaha then when we were done we chilled in her car and we started rapping together and we got stupid serious about it<3 I love this girl, i can connect with her on another level sometimes i can’t even comprehend. Then we got bored so mike and danilo came and we drank into the parking lot like dumbasses, it was fun though,talked about a million random things, i missed feeling buzzed :) I don’t miss the part where my smoking habits got so bad because of drinking :( it’s coming back and i’m scared!! i can’t keep spending so much damn money on cigarettes.. i can’t even keep a pack for more than 3 days, its so sad… sigh! Chain smoking should never become anyones bad habit :( Came home.. got bored.. so jumped on the facebook selling clothes thingy bandwagon with lauren! but her ass is slow af and is gonna upload later on ahahah. -.- Anyways what i really want to do is VENT!! here goes:

I fucken miss the way my boyfriend and i use to be.. we were just so fun together and happy but it seems like all we do nowadays is argue. Wasted tears. Everything changed so quick. It was just yesterday when i was only getting to know him, flirtin wit him, going on double dates, racing up the movie theater stairs on our first date, playin ball wit him, goin to fowler and just climbing errthang and remembering it was so hard trying to start a conversation with him because he was so damn shy lol ;( We changed so quickly but i can’t throw this away.. its just too good to be true to let go. its crazy how much he can endure of me, its hard to keep loving me but he’s doing it and i give him so much props for it. I’m not gonna lie.. we still have our good times but our arguments are really bringin us down and it makes me so sad because i love him so much.. I still remember the first time he told me “i love you”, i remember my heart dropping yet i was so damn happy.. hell.. i remember telling him that i thought i was fallin in love wit him but he stopped me  because he got so scared.. his heart was racin and everything.. lol so cutteeees. I miss sleeping wit my baby.. everytime im at home, it doesnt feel right laying in my bed without him.. it feels weird not being held, it feels weird not hearing his laugh, lookin into his eyes deeply then having him laugh.. i miss him more than i could ever put into words.. not just physically.. but the times we had.. i remember when he told me “forever”.. he told me i was the first girl he said the word forever with. I miss always buggin him to let me drive, i miss when he was tired and tryna fall asleep i would do the most annoying shit because i was bored and didnt wanna sleep, i miss always pantsing him, i miss stroking his hair, i miss kissing his forehead, i miss holding his hands, i miss taking pictures, i miss blasting music.. i miss when he’d run and hold me like it was the first time in years he’s seen me.. i miss everytime how i’d talk so fast he’d look at me and go “goo goo ga ga”? haha cuz he never understood me.. i miss when i use to make him so nervous he’d stutter in all of our conversations.. I guess i just miss everything about him.. its unbearable. even though we fight so much.. i’m so damn happy that i’m in love with this man because even when we fight, he knows his limits and never crosses it to ever make me cry. I get sad a lot over him but he knows how to treat me well to the point where i HARDLY ever cry over him.. its usually me crying over other things and he’d be there for me. I love so much about him, i love how he stands up for me ALL THE TIME.. but i don’t let him do anything because i don’t want to put him at risk for anything.. but its so hard to convince him because hes so overprotective over me.. Loving him feels like i’ve never loved before.. i hope we last foreever.. i can’t imagine ever loving anyone after him. seems repetitive cuz i know i’ve said it before but i swear this ones different. hes a keeper. he has the kindest, purest, and most genuine heart i’ve ever seen and the best part is the feelings are mutual ALL THE TIME<3333 (: our love is full of romance and flamesssss!!! sighh even when we’re aruing right now i only have good things to say about my love. -.- 11611 always<333 (: