if u have good cheekbones aND good eyebrows fuck u
It may have been in bits and pieces, but I gave you the best of me.
I can never unlove you. I’ll just love you in a different way now.
Dear Future Daughter:
1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.
2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.
3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.
4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.
5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.
When you come home tonight, I will not be there. On the sideboard there is a note that says “I am tired of wearing my heart on my sleeves for you, I’ve taken it back.” Look, it’s exhausting to love you like this. I would have stood outside for you if I knew you’d pass by to open the door for me but my fingers are cold and you’re just standing at the window trying to decide if you can be open enough to let me in. I don’t know if you can or know how but I know that my hands are tired of reaching to empty spaces. God, it’s not okay for you to love me when it’s convenient or when you’re not busy. It’s not okay for you to not try because you know I’ll be waiting there for you anyway. It’s not okay because your cold is seeping into me and I used to be throbbing once, I used to be a fire. I don’t know how to give less of myself to someone. I don’t know how to be half full or half feeling so when I said that I would have stayed with you, I meant it. I don’t want to have to be anything less than I am but I can’t stay with you anymore. Your arms are perpetually folded. Mine can’t reach far enough to keep us both warm. I’ve tidied your clothes. I’ve left you milk in the fridge, but I won’t pick up your calls anymore. I’m closing the door gently behind me, I’m not coming back, I have to look for something warmer.